(What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding

Happy New Year!

Til Victory *

Nearly three months on strike, they win. Well done brothers and sisters!

* Patti Smith Group

Football Crazy *

As she is out of the country, my dearest and lovely JJ left me her ticket to see her Northampton take on my Millwall yesterday, with the only drawback being that I'm sat in with the home crowd, or so I thought ...

My body has been badly in need of a right proper lie-in, which would have come in handy yesterday morning. But, up I get as I'm off to see Millwall get another fine victory away from home following our tremendous 4-1 win away to Brentford on Boxing Day (okay, Brentford haven't won a match in 22 games, but it was still a good one for us). It's quite cold outside, I'm thinking as I walk to the station, but nothing I can't handle. Up to Euston I go and, after having quick pint in the pub, hop on the train and make my way to Northampton. Time for another pint in town as there is plenty of time to get to the ground. Then start making my way to Sixfields and the drizzle which accompanied this walk at the outset has now turned in to a downpour - it's fucking pissing it down, and it's getting really cold. Eventually get to the ground, soaked to the skin, freezing cold, but at least I'm there and about to watch a game - and, with both teams too close to the bottom of the table, it's quite crucial that we win this one.

I go to my seats (I have two tickets next to each other, but that's not important right now) but there is an old couple in them, so I take one next to them. I ask the next person along if they expect someone to sit in the one I occupy and they say probably. I tell the old couple that, if someone claims mine, then I'll have to kick them out and they don't say much - probably can't understand a word I'm saying, these northern types (anything north of the Thames is northern to me, by the way). The rain is still flooding down, by the way.

Game kicks off and the Cobblers are looking awful, while Millwall are looking very lively and very much the better side. No surprise really then when we take the lead with a cracking shot from Houbertz. Northampton then come back into it and the game flows from end to end. It has to be said, however, that the home side had much the better chances with their striker Andy Kirk failing to hit the target with two or three headers when rising unmarked right in front of goal. Huge interruption in the game when Millwall defender Danny Senda lies motionless on the ground and has to be taken to hospital. Apparently he suffered concussion but was conscious when they eventually stretchered him off. He regained consciousness probably as a result of the length of time it took the medics to get to him. All the players - Millwall and Northampton - were screaming their heads off for them to come on and the medics seemed to take an age to do anything. Eventually, it took one of the Northampton players to grab the stretcher himself and take it to Senda.

Back to the game and it has to be said that, as the half carried on, the conditions were becoming more and more treacherous and many players could not stay on their feet. And back to my seat and someone turning up to claim the one I was in. I told the old couple that they would have to move and was given short shrift, so decided that, as I spotted a free seat a few rows away, I would take that instead of causing any grief. On checking my tickets, I then realised I had claimed the wrong seats all along and I should have been sat elsewhere - cue apologies from Reidski, so now I was red-faced with embarrassment as well as still being soaked.

Half time comes and there are murmers from some that they wouldn't be surprised if the game gets called off at the break. But, with no ground staff making an appearance on the pitch or no inspections from the officials, then it's game on. So the second half kicks off and Northampton just cannot do anything in front of goal. And so it goes and so it goes, and the rain continues to pour down and the ball is increasingly getting slowed down by the standing water at one end of the ground.

20 minutes to go and the ref says enough is enough and takes the players off but only after some of the Millwall squad go off their heads as they don't understand how the pitch could be playable 20 minutes previously but isn't now. Anyway, for the records, this game didn't happen.

Bit strange that, as soon as the fans were leaving the stadium, the rain stopped and the sun broke through the clouds (okay, that last part didn't happen, but the rain did stop). But it was still fucking freezing, so got to the station via the pub where I watched a woeful Arsenal get beat by Sheffield United, which was very enjoyable.

Return trip was made and I eventually got home to a nice warm house, but only after a train journey from Northampton to Euston in which the people sat behind me chatted very loudly the whole way.

Millwall boss Wille Donnachie seems a bit irate that the game was abandoned when it was, but, the bottom line is that the conditions were simply not suitable for a football match. One worry for Northampton and particularly their ground staff, is that is now two games off this season as a result of a waterlogged pitch. Yesterday, the rain was pretty bad and one or two other matches also suffered as a result. But it does suggest that maybe more work needs to be done that could avoid such scenarios. Alternatively, maybe it just rains more in Northampton than it does anywhere else in the country.

Anyway, this was only the second time I have been at a game which has been abandoned. I've been on my way to many when we hear they have been called off, but not when the game has got underway. The only previous time was against Hibs at Celtic Park some time in the last 70s/early 80s. It was a foggy day, but at least we could see the pitch, so the game starts. As the second half continues - and with Hibs 2-0 up - the fog gets really bad and we cannot see the goals at the other end of the stadium (we are in what was known as "the Celtic end"). What we could see, however, was some of the Hibs players giving us the two-fingered salute as they walked off to our cheers at the ref's decision to call it off. I think we won the rearranged fixture by about five or six goals, tee hee!

P.S. I got a right good lie in this morning - zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

* Spinners

Walk This Way *

December 27th is the date on the calendar which traditionally finds Reidski out and about for a walk. Well, Christmas Day I’m not going out as there are too many new toys to play with and Boxing Day there’s too much football on the box. So today was walk. But, first, the last couple of days …

… Don’t’ think I’ve ever seen the boy as happy and grateful as he was when he opened the wrapping paper on his main present and he had an Xbox 360, which he’s been asking for over the last month or so. He thought he wasn’t going to get it and would instead have to use all his savings on buying one himself. But me and his mum relented and got it for him. A lovely day was had by all even when boy’s grandma exclaimed about how difficult it is choosing what to eat as “you never know how it will affect your stools!” I finished the day by watching some of the rain-affected Test. I chose the wrong time to walk home however, as England lost five wickets in the two hours or so after I left – bollocks!

Yesterday was watch Reading take a great point from Chelsea and more evidence to convince me that, with Chelsea now looking far from invincible and ManU getting a bonus addition of Henrik Larsson from next week for around 10 league games, then the west Londoners are not the champions this season.

Then it was joining the boy and his mum to some very old friends of ours. Champagne was sipped (okay, guzzled in my case) and turkey and mushroom pie was consumed before we sat down to some games. And I have to claim star turn at the charades. But why didn’t they get the six-word film that I acted out? Well, for the second word I was very discreet, for the third word I was charm personified and for the sixth I acted as bourgeois as they come. After many minutes, however, I knew that they just were not going to guess the answer, particularly as the ex and her friend were doubled up in hysterics with tears rolling down their faces, while the children were simply sitting open-mouthed at the sight of this bloke trying to act out The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie.

Today, as I said with it being 27th and all that, was go-out-for-a-walk day. Walk to Greenwich via Deptford Market as I needed a cheap pair of gloves. Jumped on the DLR for what has always been an eye-opening journey to Bank. From Bank, it was walk past St Paul’s Cathedral, and head for the river and walk along the north embankment. Well, it was walk along the narrow path beside the Thames until coming across some fucking tosser feeding the bloody birds – by birds, I mean hundreds of horrible seagulls – and Reidski’s phobia comes into full force. So, it was retrace my steps and take alternative route, but at least it was one that took me past here. Well, not quite past, rather, in. Then it was walk along Embankment toward the West End until crossing the river at the new and improved Hungerford Bridge as my plan was to visit the Royal Festival Hall and see what was going on there. The answer was quite clear – building works. “Oh yes,” Reidski thinks, “that’s why it’s been covered in tarpaulin and scaffold for months!” Always bright and intelligent, me!

But walk on I did and, while tempted, didn’t go in here, here or here. Instead, it was straight home.

The soundtrack to all this walking around was Camera Obscura’s Let’s Get Out Of The Country, Arctic Monkeys truly brilliant debut, Belle and Sebastian’s gorgeous The Life Pursuit and Mogwai’s Happy Songs for Happy People. And the reading material on trains and in pubs was Peter Carey’s The True History of the Kelly Gang, which promises to be a right cracker when I get into it.

Tonight, it’s been fun listening about the defeat for the forces of darkness at Inverness and a Cobblers’ fan phoning Radio Five about the starlings’ story as related by JJ, which Ray Stubbs refused to believe until another Cobbler said it was the highlight of the game at the Sixfields yesterday.
And on to tomorrow when JJ and I go along to see The History Boys at the Wyndhams. It’s hard to believe but we met a year ago and have shared many cultural activities such as cinema and gigs and stuff but this will be the first time we have been to the theatre together. I’m sure we’ll enjoy. I know we’ll enjoy. And then we’ll watch Dracula on the box tomorrow night – but she’ll have to cuddle up to me cos I’ll be really frightened.

* Run DMC and Aerosmith

He Knows *

A very merry Christmas gift from the arsehole known as Reidski.

*Futureheads

Friday I'm In Love *

We had our Christmas together on Friday night, me and JJ, exchanging gifts (I will wear those tops, JJ, no doubt about it!), exchanging kisses and exchanging other things which others need not know about.

It has to be said that it was freezing cold in London on Friday evening, so, lucky for us, a table had been booked at this restaurant, which is only a 10-minute walk from my house. And a lovely restaurant it is. In fact, strange to think of such a nice restaurant on my doorstep when I haven't been in it for some years. In fact, so strange that, as I was telling JJ, I haven't actually been in it for around 16 years, so long that I was even a member of the Labour Party at the time. This I know for, as I walked in there those 16 years ago, my MP said hello, which rather impressed my rather easily impressed mum and dad, who were with my and my ex that evening. Not sure if she would have said hello had she known that my application to join the Communist Party was already in the post, but there we go. Ms Ruddock has been all over the place as our MP over the years (1987 I think when she was first elected) and I remember lobbying her at the time of the first Gulf War when we put it to her that newspaper reports suggested that Britain and the US were dropping or threatening to drop Agent Orange on Iraq. "Well, something has to be done," was the rather stupid response. But, hey, I digress.

So back to La Lanterna on Friday night and the lovely food, drink, staff ... and us two. We looked knockout, even if I say so myself, with JJ in her stunning new dress and me in my now-fitting suit (fitting now as I got the trousers taken in by a couple of inches after them slipping somewhat as a result of the new slimline Reidski of the last year or two.)

I had been tempted to go for the antipasti meats and cheeses as I had at my department lunch the previous day at another Italian restaurant (part of the same group as La Lanterna, btw), but, instead - and with the cold weather in mind - went for the totally gorgeous minestrone, while it was parma ham and melon for JJ. Then it was onto steaks - lamb for me and beef for JJ - and no room at the inn for desserts. But room aplenty there was for the accompanying Orvieto - what a lovely crisp wine that is - and amaretto to finish it off (with another coming courtesy of the house). Lovely, friendly staff - I reckon it won't be another 16 years before we visit again.

Then it was back to my gaff for wine and a listen to my fabby new Elvis Costello compilation (thanks JJ).

*The Cure

Gimme That Punk Junk *

What do you mean you don't remember this post when I said I should blog about Charlie Drake? Well, now I will as I've just noticed that he has now died. And the story? Not really interesting and neither is it funny, but I feature and so does Charlie Drake, so here goes (oh, btw, it's not very long either):

Had my once-a-fortnight Friday afternoon off and didn't really fancy going off home, so wandered through town (as I used to do far more frequent than I do now) and decided to go and see this, at my favourite cinema. To say that it was harrowing would be an understatement and to say that I was glad to be on my own would be very accurate indeed as I would not have been able to talk to anyone for some time after seeing that. So I emerged from the cinema in a bit of a daze and started walking along Shaftesbury Avenue when passing me as we strolled alongside the Cambridge Theatre (I think that's the name of it - it's the one that Les Mis was on for all those years) was someone who looked like Charlie Drake - same height, same wee cheeky smiling face, same wispy hair. But there was only one problem - or so I thought - and that was that Charlie Drake had died years ago. I'm getting a wee bit scared and thinking like I'm that lad from Sixth Sense (I can't be the only person who realised what was going on in that one before it was half way through, btw) so think that I'm in desperate need for a drink (no, I know I don't usually need an excuse, but I really did need to calm my nerves). I ask the young woman behind the bar if she knows who Charlie Drake is and, being eastern European, she doesn't, so, if she doesn't know who he is, she won't know if he's dead. I then text a friend, but he neither knows Drake nor knows if he's dead. I then phone another friend who tells me that he's sure Drake died years ago. I swiftly drink up and decide that I need to go home and rest - or at least go home and getting wellied into some more bevvy and do some research into the life and, maybe, deat of Charlie Drake. So I get home and, before long, realise that I had, of course, passed Charlie Drake in the street and that my previous suspicions that nothing exists outside this world and these bodies which we inhabit. While looking up the internet for all things Charlie Drake, I came across this:

"Filming of the Charlie Drake Show by the BBC was cut short, however, by a serious accident that occurred in 1961, during live transmission. Drake had arranged for a bookcase to be set up in such a way that it would fall apart during a slapstick sketch in which he was pulled through it. It was later discovered that an over-enthusiastic workman had "mended" the bookcase before filming. The actors working with him, unaware of what had happened, proceeded with the rest of the sketch which required that they pick him up and throw him through an open window. Drake fractured his skull and was unconscious for three days. It was two years before he returned to the screen."

No, I know I shouldn't have laughed, but I did and I couldn't help it. There's just something so mad about the whole concept.

Anyway, I wouldn't put Drake as one of my favourite comedians of all time, in fact, I wouldn't have him in my top 200. But I suppose he did make a bit of a contribution to British popular culture and that's more than can be said for me!

*Spoof punk song by Charlie Drake under the guise of The Water Pistols.

Grumpy *

Christmas: a time for working people to have a few days off work and to rest and to eat and drink and be quite merry? Wrong! Check out this end-of-year statement which I found in the inbox in work this morning from the horribly misnamed Solidarity - it's a belter (and keep in mind it's their "message of hope"):

Thursday, 21 December, 2006

SOLIDARITY
SCOTLAND'S SOCIALIST MOVEMENT

At this time of year - when our television screens are filled with advertisements that go all out to reinforce the myth that human happiness should be and is equated with consumerism; when overpaid presenters and celebrities, wearing plastic smiles, attempt to paint the fantasy of a perfect world in which everyone is in a happy relationship or family situation, in which everyone has a well paid, fulfilling career, in which everyone has reason to smile and indulge to their hearts content – at this time of year we redouble our resolve to the struggle to end this rotten, corrupt and brutal capitalist system, a system which is based on a lie.

For we do not know or recognise the mythical society portrayed on our television screens at this time of year, populated by happy, smiling people filling their faces with food and drink, driving expensive cars and exchanging expensive gifts. No, the society we know and recognise is one in which huge and increasing poverty exists alongside pockets of extreme wealth, in which asylum seekers, immigrants, Muslims, gays, low paid workers, council tenants, the homeless, human beings all, are maligned and attacked daily, made to feel worthless under a system in which the apotheosis of material success and wealth is shoved in our faces every single day.

We recognise and understand that we live in a world that is currently engaged in an epic struggle for the future of humanity. The front line in this struggle is the Middle East, where after 15 years of bloody and brutal occupation – both economic and military – the entire world has come to understand that money, power, and technology pales in comparison to the human spirit. The Iraqi, Palestinian and Lebanese people have written a new page in the history of that war torn region of the world, and we salute their courage and their determination, while at the same time lamenting the huge loss of life and destruction that has resulted.

We again call upon the troops, the vast majority of whom are economic conscripts, to consider for whom and for what they are killing and dying in Iraq. Due to a lack of prospects and a lack of meaning in your lives, you enlisted in the armed forces, seduced by the promise of excitement, foreign travel and training in the skills necessary to secure employment in the future. You are the victims of a lie and now find yourselves being used as cannon fodder on behalf of the super rich, the corporations and a government that governs on their behalf. Yes, we say to the troops, yes you do have an enemy. But that enemy is here at home, and we call upon you to return home and join our ranks in order to fight this enemy on the side of your class.

We pay tribute to the antiwar movement, both at home and abroad, to the millions around the world who've given their hearts and souls to resisting the onslaught of the free market and its many depredations. We salute the dedication of the countless volunteers who've campaigned here at home against stock transfer, against climate change, against the closure of schools and hospitals all over the country. We salute all those who've stood out in all weathers at Faslane to protest against nuclear weapons, heroes all, warriors in the fight against war and death, and we pledge to stay the course alongside them in the war against war, the war against poverty and racism that still, in the 21st century, ravages the planet.

To the families of the six million children in Africa this year who've died as a result of preventable disease and hunger, we say that their deaths will never be forgotten. The tragedy of that long-exploited and brutalised continent remains in our hearts, filling us with determination during the dark nights and cold days when we are out struggling for a world in which humanity will be the end and not the means to the end.

Just as the front line in the struggle against the free market, against neoliberalism, is currently to be found in the Middle East, a second front continues to offer hope in Latin America. We salute the Cuban Revolution, the courage and fortitude of the Cuban people, who for so long stood alone against US imperialism. Now their example of a society in which social and economic justice for all has replaced extreme wealth and privilege for a few, now this example has spread. To Fidel Castro, seriously ill and perhaps nearing the end, we offer our thanks for services to humanity. The inspiration provided to the poor and oppressed around the world by the Cuban Revolution will never be forgotten.

In Venezuela the Bolivarian Revolution, a process of radical reform that has transformed the lives of the poor in that oil-rich country, continues regardless of the best efforts of oligarchs, media corporations and business leaders to derail it. Backed by Washington, they have tried to remove the redoubtable Hugo Chavez through a coup, electoral fraud and a mass campaign of slander and character assassination. At every turn they have failed, offering another striking example of the fact that history is not changed or shaped by money and power - that it is instead shaped by the people, by the poor and the working class, who when aroused and acting as one are unstoppable and invincible.

Finally, we are Solidarity, Scotland's Socialist Movement. We were formed this year on the understanding that our socialist principles are not and never will be for sale. We go forward into 2007 and the May elections proud to be in a party, proud to be part of a movement, which backed Tommy Sheridan, a class fighter and outstanding comrade, in his historic struggle against the execrable and repugnant Murdoch Press. We salute those comrades who stood by his side, and we claim, rightfully, to be the only ‘socialist’ party in Scotland.

From the ranks of Solidarity, to all of our friends and supporters, to all of those currently suffering under this rotten system, we offer comradely greetings and a message of hope in struggle for 2007.

Avanti!

ENDS.

Press Team:


Jim Monaghan - 07944217938
John Wight - 07738528145
Hugh Kerr - 07713063647

WWW.SOLIDARITYSCOTLAND.ORG

*Buck 65

Sleep *

Three hours sleep last night, so I should be in a right fucking strop of a mood. Wait, that's wrong, I only had two and a half hours sleep and I should be in a right fucking strop of a mood. Particularly as when I got in from work today my computer was playing up after I had thought I had sorted said problem couple of nights ago. In fact, at that point, I WAS in a right fucking strop of a mood. But, then, a restart on the computer seemed to do the trick. Then, a few e-mail exchanges with JJ followed. Then, thoughts of us going out to La Lanterna in Brockley tonight. Those last two things have really changed my mood. I'm no longer in a right fucking strop of a mood, but, rather, I'm in a right fucking ecstatic kind of a mood. No work until 08.00 hours on January 8th 2007. Nice evening with JJ tonight. Superb!

Oh, almost forgot, excellent posts from Darren Inveresk today as he not only shows us some wonderful goals from Zico, but informs us that the new Luke Haines CD is reviewed in some horrible right-wing newspaper today. I must download, err, I mean, buy it!

* Wah (no I ain't going to tell the Pete Wylie story again, okay?)

Here Comes The Weekend*

Q: What do you get when you put a teacher, a bureaucrat, an aircraft engineer and an artist in the same city for two days?
A: An incredible drunken weekend! All four Reidski brothers are in London this weekend for a couple of nights of drunken revelrie. The last time we spent over one evening all together I was a mere teenager - so it's some time ago. The weekend ends with us watching the Old Firm game in my local, so, with me being the only Celtic one among us, JJ will wonder what to make of it all when she joins us on Sunday afternoon.

* The Jam

I Wonder *

It's the draw for the last 16 of the Champions League tomorrow morning and I'm still wondering how Celtic managed to make it. Three away games and nine goals conceded does not make for pretty reading and, take the Old Trafford game alone, it could have been a helluva lot more. But, we got through on the basis that, in Europe, we have an amazing home record. The good news is that we won't face Manure in this round, nor can we face Real Madrid, Barcelona or Inter. But we can get some tasty teams and here they are:

AC Milan
Drew 0-0 in their match against Torino at the weekend and lie a lowly 15th place in the Italian league as a result of being docked points as a result of this. Even without being docked the points, they would still only be in sixth place, way behind Inter at the top, so they do not represent the biggest challenge to Celtic.
Reidski rating: Celtic could run them close and we could even just nick it.

Arsenal
Blowing hot and cold in the Premiership this season and look as if they really need Thierry Henry in the team and well in form for them to do much. They done well to get to the Champions League final last season when Celtic old boy Henrik Larsson came off the bench and changed the game.
Their constant attempts to walk the ball into the net rather than getting it out to the wings and whipping in the crosses or taking a chance from the edge of the area is a big negative factor. I am serious when I say that neither Lee Naylor nor Paul Telfer/Mark Wilson (whoever gets picked on the right) will have much trouble down the flanks.
Reidski rating: Drawing Arsenal could be Celtic's best hope of getting through to the last eight.

Bayern Munich
Beat Cottbus 2-1 at the weekend and were unbeaten in the league stages to reach the last 16. A team which comprises the likes of Van Bommell, Roy Makaay, Pizarro, Sagnol and one of the 2006 World Cup heroes Schweinsteiger must be regarded as formidable.
Reidski rating: They'll hammer us in Munich, so we have no chance.

Chelsea
They can really scrape those 1-0 and 2-1 victories in the Premiership and the Champions League. They were in a tough group in the league stages but still topped it and nearly sent Barca out.
Reidski rating: They'll do us, but it might be tighter than people may think.

Liverpool
They've started scoring four goals in every game. Celtic have done well against them in recent years but with Gerrard improving since his lethargic looking performances earlier in the season and his shooting range along with Crouch up front, Celtic's defence would be under pressure. They also coasted through to this round of the Champions League, even though they were hammered by Galatasaray.
Reidski rating: Don't think Celtic could withstand the Liverpool attack.

Lyon
Celtic simply have no chance whatsoever agains the French champions. They have lost only once in the French league this season and beat PSG 3-1 last week. Wiltord, Malouda, Juninho (who can take free-kicks every bit as good as Nakamura), Tiago and Diarra - that is one formidable group of players and no wonder they are unbeaten in this year's Champions Leage ... and they played Real Madrid twice.
Reidski rating: Celtic would get totally annihilated in France and our home record will look rather different if they visit Glasgow.

Valencia
Another side to have scored four goals at the weekend, they did it against Deportivo La Coruna. They have taken a stroll to this stage in the competition, but a look at their away record in the league gives some hope, having won only once this season. But a team with the likes of David Villa, Vicente, Baraja and Joaquin can't be taken lightly.
Reidski rating: Another thrashing away with only our home game giving any hope of getting through.

Of course, what the fuck do I know about football, eh?

* Blind Melon

Goodbye *

We said goodbye to a work colleague last night - a right lovely bloke who took his job and responsibilities very seriously indeed. He was in the post for three years and it wasn't until last night that I heard him talk about himself and one or two ambitions he has for the future. For him, it was never about the self, but always about those he was representing and those who were paying his wages. Just about everyone in the office will miss him - in fact, only the wankers won't!

Afterwards, JJ and I set off for home and it wasn't until we were two minutes from home that Reidski thought and said: "Err, do you know that the plan was to have some chicken and veg stir fry?" JJ answers: "Yes." I say: "Only trouble is that I forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer and defrost it!" But JJ is very clever and she spots something and points across the road and pipes up: "Isn't that a Chinese take-away over there?" So take-away was ordered and paid for and it was rather inexpensive. But, the only reason why it was so inexpensive was that they hadn't given us what we asked for, having missed off one of the main courses.

Lovely it was, nevertheless. And dessert was even better.

* Spice Girls

Drive *

I was taken on the most lovely drive round Northampton and one or two villages just outside the city last Saturday night. Before we did that, however, we had a drink here, which is a lovely chilled out place to have a drink and to have your best friend take it easy and relax following yet another home defeat for her football team. I'm glad that, when she said "let's go to the Old White Hart" she did mean the one in Northampton and not here, because this was the scene of Reidski being told he was a "blue-nosed cunt" by a very friendly fellow Celtic fan, but that's another story. Back to last Saturday night ...

After the pub, there was not much doubt where to head to next - here! It is totally fabulous. It is rather inexpensive. The staff are very friendly. You can take your own bevvy. But don't - just don't - let your fellow diner talk you into having loads of poppadums and a starter cos you just WILL NOT be able to eat your main dish, which are out of this fucking world! Doggie bags were taken.

And then onto the drive. I saw nan and granddad's house. I saw childhood house. I saw brownies' hall. I saw local pub. I saw friend's massive house. I saw venue for village quiz. But then, sadly, I saw the time and had to go and catch the last train home. But what I didn't see was something very important to me........

..... button from front of trousers. Where the fuck is it? Had to travel all the way home with hands in pocket holding kecks up!

And what a fantastic time I had! Thanks JJ!

*REM

P.S. On a totally unrelated matter, this new annoying Blogger Beta thingy and the e.g. on "Labels for this post" which those of you without beta cannot see - has anyone noticed why I would find this funny? Hint: "scooters, vacation, fall"

Let's Get Out Of The Country *

Aw fuck, this is terrible news.

* Camera Obscura

Stories *

This has happened following this complaint following this match. Why did they complain? If he didn't make any racist comments, then why aren't Ferdinand and Richards facing an inquiry into their malicious allegations. The three players involved cannot all be right or wrong!

Anyway, fuck that, I'm off to watch the Manc derby in the pub and then have a curry and plenty of drinks with JJ.

* Hanson

It's Not Funny *

He's racist, anti-semitic and a mason. Does Michael Richards have any redeeming features? Err, no!

* Run DMC

Hilarious*

This isn't just funny, it's a side-splitter. So thank you Gordon!

*Racoon - what do you mean you've never heard of them?

Starman*

Its fandabidoozie for wee Jimmy Krankie

UPDATE: I put on links which I don't even read properly. It's not fandabby for wee Jimmy at all - she gets a fractured skull, but it's the theatre which gets the cash. She, meanwhile, has to wait. Poor wee Jimmy!

*The Krankies once sang this Bowie classic on some show or other.

One Week *

So much has happened over the last week, so little time to explain. Today, I have a bit of time as the boy is ill and off school and my parental responsibilities mean it's my turn to look after him - and I'm so glad of that. Anyway, he's much better now than he was yesterday, thanks for asking! Oh, wait, he's just gone hurtling to the loo to throw up!!

Last week saw JJ and I off to see Richard Hawley at the fabulous Shepherds Bush Empire, the venue where I have seen Gang of Four and McAlmont & Butler in recent years. Hawley was in top form both musically and with his in-between songs banter. His songs are sublime, his voice is gorgeous and he comes across as someone who you'd definitely have a beer with. We loved him, we went home happy.

A couple of days later, it was office Christmas party time and what a raucous, drunken affair it was too. I was playing at "showing off" my bestest greatest friend. And, it seemed to come off as all in office found JJ to be charming and lovely - well, those who've met her will not be surprised at such a description. Party entertainment was provided by a Rod Stewart lookalike, or it could have been soundalike - whatever, he was alright. I did a lot of this with JJ, while she moved like she was on this. And we also did a lot of this. The next day we should have checked this out. We eventually tasted fresh air with a walk along the Thames in the early evening and into town for a few drinks in some really lovely pubs, a tasty pizza and a nice drink with workmate and his girlfriend. Then, again, we left and went home happy.

The good news on Sunday was that this happened - again! I'm sure that just about a week previously Charlie Adam was saying how they had the ability to close the gap - they don't, they're rubbish and they will be lucky to hold on to second spot come the end of the season. We're 16 points clear the top. We're rubbish too. But, we're just less rubbish than the rest of the SPL. Our deficiences were there for all (well, me and Darren) to see last night. Embarrassingly bad throughout the match, we kept our terrible away record in the Champions League.

And all this talk of being rubbish brings me on to Millwall and the superb quote from hopeless boss Willie Donachie: "Wayne Rooney gets stuck in - I'd have him here." I look forward to it Willie, you fucking moron! This comes just a couple of weeks after he declares that he's looking at promotion - TO THE PREMIERSHIP! You'll find us here before too long.

Paper talk now - when did racism become quirky or funny? Just because some racist fuckhead wears a red suit and a stupid hat doesn't mean that we suddenly laugh about it. Harrods spokesman: "Even if the remarks were made in good humour, we cannot condone behaviour that offends our customers." Even if the remarks were made in good humour???? And, of course, the comments were only offensive as the customer was offended. So, does that mean that should the customer not be offended, then the racist comments were not offensive? Let's boycott Harrods! Oh, yes, we already do - for financial reasons!

Cracking letter in this week's freebie Lewisham & Catford News Shopper. Background first, story last week about woman who got fined for setting light to a bloke in pub who was dressed up in toilet paper pretending to be a mummy on halloween night. So, on to this week's letters page and rant about how woman was spared prison sentence after which the writer says: "Personally, I would not stop at prison - an eye for an eye would be the best method of punishment this country could offer." Superb, so, there we have it - the woman in question should be tied up in toilet paper and burned alive.

That is seriously all, folks! But, I cannot be silenced - I shall return.

* Barenaked Ladies

The Message *

This is for you from me!

*Grandmaster Flash

Something for the Weekend *

I really must get round to blogging about what an utterly brilliant and perfect weekend I had there and it was so good in so many ways. First up, JJ was with me – cue dreamy camera work with love hearts dancing around my head. Second, we danced – cue Paul Kay routine about older men on the dance floor. And you don’t get to hear about the third thing – and, no, there were no videos involved! But more on that later in the week when I have time to do it.

I should also get round to blogging about the absurdity of a foreign government taking over an English football team. Okay, money from Middle East oil is pretty much the same as money from Russian oil or, for that matter, Icelandic biscuits: it’s all been made from the exploitation of labour and natural resources. But, again, more on that another time.

* Super Furry Animals

He'd Send In The Army

I don't have any reason not to post this, so enjoy.