Friday, August 25, 2006

Everything Flows *

Stupid Stuff
What do you mean you haven't heard about the bloke with two penises? Read all about it here - I particularly like the quote from the commentor who says: "And he is having the operation because?" Or words to that effect.

Isn't there something so incredibly cute about these pics?

We've had images of the Virgin Mary on toast, but here's a new one!

Best headline ever - Girl in Wales Finds Lucky Whale Vomit!

Now, of all the lies you would tell so your mum doesn't find out about what you get up to at home on your own, this wouldn't be one you would use at an airport!

Ever wondered how to attract lots of people to a funeral? Easy, do this!

"They feed you, do your washing and let you watch TV, which I can tell you is a lot more than my mother does". Where does this guy want to live? Answer here!

Football stuff
Celtic have got off to a right stinker this season. Saw pretty much their first team be humiliated by ManUtd in a friendly a few weeks back when I was up there with JJ. I then saw them wallop Killie in the first competitive match of the season and they looked pretty comfortable, if not spectacular. But reports of all subsequent matches have them looking very dodgy. The arrival of the Dutch bloke with the very long name should see them at least score a few now, after Kenny Miller has given us an impression of how not to act as a striker in front of goal up to now. Champions League draw has us facing Man Utd again and this will be the first time Celtic have ever played them in a competitive match. No points from either of the games there but I think we'll pick something up on our travels to either Copenhagen or, more likely, Benfica. And a couple of wins at home will see us in the knock-out stages. Yes, I'm ever the optimist. Not for the league, however, as Hearts or, more probably, the forces of darkness will take that honour.

Talking about optimism, Millwall are making good progress after their nightmare start to the season, just a pity the (ex hun) manager is filling the team up with Govan rejects. I have no doubt that the Lions will be at least in the play-offs and I even feel like putting a bet on them to win the title.

Saw a fine match on Tuesday night when I accompanied JJ to see her beloved Northampton Town take on QPR at Loftus Road. After a terrible first half and then going 2-0 down early in the second, I feared a right hammering for the Cobblers, but back they came to draw level. A bit slack at the back, however, to let the home side take it 3-2 and, sorry to say JJ, it was deserved.

This weekend sees mr and mrs tnr in town, so I'll need to search for a pub which shows Scottish football for Sunday as Kilmarnock take on the forces of darkness. I fear that my usual drinking venues around SE14 will all be showing the Irish football on Sunday as I think it's the all-Ireland finals. Let me know if I've got that one wrong.

And, on a more serious note ...
I'm hanging out at my old house this week and over the weekend as the boy's maternal grandfather died this morning. His mum phoned me to give me the inevitable sad news an hour or so after her dad passed away. Having just woken up, my head wasn't quite clear and after telling her how sorry I was, I blurbed something about how great her old man was. On more reflection, I do really think he was great. He was also funny, extremely well read and very caring. Visits to his house always meant leaving with piles of books he insisted you read, videos of films and comedies he liked and, for me, always quite a bit of alcohol in the body. Him never having drunk much throughout his life resulted in him pouring the largest measures of whisky I have ever had the pleasure of drinking.
He was also a great educationalist, having been a head teacher in Leicestershire for many years. For much of that, he battled with the education authorites, trying to give his students a proper education. He hated the national curriculum, school league tables and all the other bollocks which governments have introduced to schools over the last 20-odd years.
He had a rather strange upbringing himself, being born in Malaysia before the war and then being sent back to England on his own when he reached school age to attend boarding school. The outbreak of the Second World War did have the welcome result of his mother then coming back to England also. Unfortunately, his father was interned by the Japanese. during which he amazingly kept a diary using toilet tissue as his writing paper. The clothers he wore during internment are now at the Imperial War Museum. He survived the ordeal but wasn't quite the same man ever again.
Anyway, back to the boy's grandfather, he was riddled with cancer, having first been diagnosed with prostate cancer when he himself was caring for his dying partner earlier last year. He had chemo and radiotherapy, he took the drugs and tried all sorts of treatment, but, when the big C gets into the bones, there is no holding it back and he was in pain for many many months. Until two weeks ago, I hadn't seen him since last October. I had a picture of a big, healthy strapping man in my mind, someone who always had a smile on his face and made us laugh - even if he didn't mean to. He never smoked and, as I say above, never much of a drinker. I was shocked then when I dropped the boy's mum off at the house when I was making my way up to Scotland. Sitting bent over in pain, with his body having shrunk, not being able to hardly speak, drifting off to sleep every few minutes, having to be helped out of his seat, having to be aided to relieve himself. He held on until all the family were gathered together. He held on to see his beloved Reading play in and win a match in the Premiership. He held on until he couldn't do so any more. He really was a lovely bloke. Here's tae ye big man!

* Teenage Fanclub - I usually think of the band in Iain Banks's Espedair Street when I think of Teenage Fanclub. Just thought I'd mention it.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Dedicated To The One I Love *

Sorry folks, it's a "Reidski-gets-soppy" moment. You see, I haven't seen JJ for a week now and won't see her for another week. Yes, I know that in the whole scheme of things a fortnight isn't that long, but it certainly seems long at the moment. I've tried to keep busy, which resulted in me clearing everything up at work at a remarkable pace. I have had a few nights with the boy this week, without any arguments remarkably. I played football on Wednesday night. I'm playing in a football tournament tomorrow afternoon. I'm then taking the boy up to reacquaint him with this Scottish roots on Sunday (yes, I know that's bollocks - my son is unmistakably a south Londoner) during which I get to have a drink or two with my family and, of course mr and mrs tnr. But, no offence to anyone, these activities haven't and won't stop me from thinking of JJ every second. Roll on next Friday ...

*The Mamas & The Papas

Paranoid *

I just thought I'd clear something up. Looking back at the post Right Here Right Now below and from the exchange I was involved in over at Kev's, it may give the impression that I'm a bit like this bloke, or like these folks or, more dangerously and rather more seriously, like this bunch of fruitcakes. Oh no, not me, I'm perfectly sane, if not more than a little strange. But, hey, you all knew that I was level-headed and not prone to exaggeration. Didn't you?

Anyway, my cynicism remains until hard evidence is put in front of a group of my peers in a court of law and those jurors find without any shadow of a doubt that those who have been charged are guilty.

Meanwhile, I'm on the lookout for those six-feet lizards who are intent on taking over the world ..........

* Black Sabbath

Climb Ev'ry Mountain *

Mountain Resembles Breasts
"A mountain in China looks like a pair of breasts.
The mountain, located 12km north of Zhenfeng town in the Guizhou province, is known locally as dual breast mountain.
The mountain is used as a place of worship by the community.
Locals come to the foot of the mountain during weddings believing it will bring them goodness and fortune."

No, I didn't make this up, read it here for proof!

*As sung by Peggy Wood as Mother Abbess in The Sound of Music. According to Wikipedia: "It is alleged that the BBC planned on broadcasting the soundtrack (of The Sound of Music) after nuclear warfare to improve the morale of survivors."

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Right Here Right Now *

So a massive terror plot has been foiled apparently. Really? If it has, then it will be a first. Oh wait, you know of previous plots which have been foiled by the British state? Name one, go on, name one. So there was a plot to blow up 10 planes either going in or out of Britain today. Mmmmm, I think I'll wait and see. Of course, the ones telling us all this are the same officials who put out propaganda saying that this bloke got shot by his brother. They have subsequently put out information that he is some sort of child pornographer. Again, I'll wait and see.

Our secret services and police forces are, of course, well schooled in the art of misinformation and the black ops, having a perfect training ground over the years in the the Six Counties which make up the entity known commonly as Northern Ireland.

Sow me the fucking evidence for this terror plot that was going to blow up 10 planes, show me the actual bombs, show me the papers which will prove without any shadow of doubt that the geezers they picked up last night - coveniently referred to as British but of "Pakistani origin" (shortcut for saying "not white people") by the media mouthpieces of the state - were indeed fucking potential bombers, then I will shout very loudly that I was wrong and the British state is indeed ahead of the game in this war on terror and deserves a big round of applause from us all!

In the meantime, my cynical mind will continue to smell the bullshit! Particularly as this episode comes at a time when John Reid is telling us that we will have to give up our civil rights while his government deals with the nasties.
* Fatboy Slim