One Week *

So much has happened over the last week, so little time to explain. Today, I have a bit of time as the boy is ill and off school and my parental responsibilities mean it's my turn to look after him - and I'm so glad of that. Anyway, he's much better now than he was yesterday, thanks for asking! Oh, wait, he's just gone hurtling to the loo to throw up!!

Last week saw JJ and I off to see Richard Hawley at the fabulous Shepherds Bush Empire, the venue where I have seen Gang of Four and McAlmont & Butler in recent years. Hawley was in top form both musically and with his in-between songs banter. His songs are sublime, his voice is gorgeous and he comes across as someone who you'd definitely have a beer with. We loved him, we went home happy.

A couple of days later, it was office Christmas party time and what a raucous, drunken affair it was too. I was playing at "showing off" my bestest greatest friend. And, it seemed to come off as all in office found JJ to be charming and lovely - well, those who've met her will not be surprised at such a description. Party entertainment was provided by a Rod Stewart lookalike, or it could have been soundalike - whatever, he was alright. I did a lot of this with JJ, while she moved like she was on this. And we also did a lot of this. The next day we should have checked this out. We eventually tasted fresh air with a walk along the Thames in the early evening and into town for a few drinks in some really lovely pubs, a tasty pizza and a nice drink with workmate and his girlfriend. Then, again, we left and went home happy.

The good news on Sunday was that this happened - again! I'm sure that just about a week previously Charlie Adam was saying how they had the ability to close the gap - they don't, they're rubbish and they will be lucky to hold on to second spot come the end of the season. We're 16 points clear the top. We're rubbish too. But, we're just less rubbish than the rest of the SPL. Our deficiences were there for all (well, me and Darren) to see last night. Embarrassingly bad throughout the match, we kept our terrible away record in the Champions League.

And all this talk of being rubbish brings me on to Millwall and the superb quote from hopeless boss Willie Donachie: "Wayne Rooney gets stuck in - I'd have him here." I look forward to it Willie, you fucking moron! This comes just a couple of weeks after he declares that he's looking at promotion - TO THE PREMIERSHIP! You'll find us here before too long.

Paper talk now - when did racism become quirky or funny? Just because some racist fuckhead wears a red suit and a stupid hat doesn't mean that we suddenly laugh about it. Harrods spokesman: "Even if the remarks were made in good humour, we cannot condone behaviour that offends our customers." Even if the remarks were made in good humour???? And, of course, the comments were only offensive as the customer was offended. So, does that mean that should the customer not be offended, then the racist comments were not offensive? Let's boycott Harrods! Oh, yes, we already do - for financial reasons!

Cracking letter in this week's freebie Lewisham & Catford News Shopper. Background first, story last week about woman who got fined for setting light to a bloke in pub who was dressed up in toilet paper pretending to be a mummy on halloween night. So, on to this week's letters page and rant about how woman was spared prison sentence after which the writer says: "Personally, I would not stop at prison - an eye for an eye would be the best method of punishment this country could offer." Superb, so, there we have it - the woman in question should be tied up in toilet paper and burned alive.

That is seriously all, folks! But, I cannot be silenced - I shall return.

* Barenaked Ladies