The Short Answer*

Telephone conversations you wish you didn't have with your 14-year-old son:

Me: Hi sonny, your mum's out tonight so I'm coming over to stay the night.
The Boy: Cool. When are you coming over?
Me: I'll be over later and make us dinner.
The Boy: Yeh, but exactly when?
Me: Not sure. Why do you need to know?
The Boy: So's I know how long I can put off hiding the empty beer bottles.

Parenthood is such bliss!

* Billy Bragg