News of the World *

There I was, watching this, bored shitless (although the result cheered me up - as did the England fans on the Radio 5 phone-in. I'm sure these same people - and I mean THE same people - who are now calling for McClaren to be sacked were insisting on the FA appointing an English manager when Sven walked off. So, who is the alternative? Pearce - no experience worth considering! Err, that's it!). Anyway, as I was saying, bored shitless, so I picked up the Lewisham and Catford News Shopper, as you do, and was delighted at such stories regarding objections to a pizza take away having a late opening license, a "brainy student" winning an essay competition and a move for a doctors' surgery. Also enjoyed - and, sorry, but no links here, the paper's "feature" on Valentine's Day, which consisted of adverts for a Greek restaurant, a curry house, florists, a barbers (how romantic), Hot Flush - The Menopause Has Never Been This Good! (musical at the Churchill Theatre) and fireworks (£20 for one which will light up the sky with a heart). Dontcha love local papers?

*The Jam