Sunday, August 24, 2008

Hellnation *

I'm loathe to pick up those free papers you get bombarded with when travelling in London. Saying nothing of the content - well, okay, on the content, just how many times a week can you have pictures of Any Whinehouse acting like a drunken and drug-addled lunatic? - I really object to all that waste. I read somewhere that the paper isn't even recycled, hence they contribute to tonnes and tonnes of wasted paper every day. Grotesque really!

Nevertheless, pick one up I did last week as a result of my having finished my book on the train from MK to London. Once again, it was confirmed why I shouldn't encourage these twats to produce a newsless newspaper. One cracking piece did catch my eye, however. This was a whole page on how to "write the perfect love letter." Among the sage advice it offers are these:

Make it personal: Letters should be crammed with compliments. Fill it with those gushy things nobody else will ever have noticed.

Send it on a memorable day: Choose a day that's meaningful in some trifling but romantic way.

Pick your paper with care: It won't be noticed if it's written in blue biro on torn paper.

Get in touch with your emotions: Don't just say "I love you," write "I love you desperately.

What really struck me about this was the thought that I had already read this in one of the Khmer Rouge Strippergram posts!

*Dead Kennedys



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