Saturday Night *

I went to this last night. It was stupid, puerile, crass, post-modern rubbish ... I had a great time. Well, I had a great time when Arse Full of Chips were on stage (as well as when they were running round the audience spraying after shave, fake snow and water at everyone) and when Kunt and the Gang was on doing his rather unique set. As for the other two bands, well, come on lads, hardcore thrash punk was rather tieresome back in 1981 never mind 2008. Back to the fun ... Arse Full of Chips put me in mind of Goldie Looking Chain without the decent music and the Welsh accents. And while the Welsh "rappers" did have their own uniforms, being the bling and stuff, Arse Full of Chips went in for a rather different uniform of the likes of animal costumes and Captain Fantastic outfits. Songs were about how racist Jade Goody is, buying dodgy kebabs and the suggestion that you really shouldn't eat the leftovers the next morning and how shit their home town of Matlock is.

Basildon's Kunt and the Gang, described by Bizarre magazine as a "one-man filth machine", is, err, a one-man filth machine. In town to promote his One Last Wank and One Last Cry CD, his songs are, on the whole, about ... can you guess? ... wanking. Cuntsticks, a rather alternative version of Chas and Dave's Gertcha, was among the highlights for me. He really is the ultimate purveyor of post-modern nonsense. As I say, I loved it! Of course, in six months, I'll hate it cos it really is musical comedy which has a very short life span. But I'll enjoy it while I can.

* Blue Nile