Tuesday, November 14, 2006

We Can Work It Out *

Surely the point of spam e-mail is to try to get you to buy some crap (viagra or penis pumps, for instance) or read some weird web site which could bring you untold wealth or ecumenical enlightenment or something or other. But can anyone tell me what the e-mail which landed in my inbox with the title "Paraffin-base paddle plate" is all about:

"i am sure i shall break mine ," said lydia.
cheat you; and so generous, that you will always exceed your income."
"i cannot see that london has any great advantage over the country, for my part, except the
"i have received a letter this morning that has astonished me exceedingly. as it principally
cousin will give you a very pretty notion of me, and teach you not to believe a word i say. i am
"i have found out," said he, "by a singular accident, that there is now in the room a near relation
"pray, miss eliza, are not the Ă—shire militia removed from meryton? they must be a great loss
an excuse for it. one cannot wonder that so very fine a young man, with family, fortune, everything in
behaviour to herself could now have had no tolerable motive; he had either been deceived with regard
contempt seemed abundantly increasing with the length of his second speech, and at the end of it he
but of this answer lydia heard not a word. she seldom listened to anybody for more than half a
at night she opened her heart to jane. though suspicion was very far from miss bennet's general
"perhaps i do. arguments are too much like disputes. if you and miss bennet will defer yours till
"are you indeed? and pray what sort of guardians do you make? does your charge give you
appearing highly pleased with all that he had yet seen, and speaking of the latter with gentle but very
acquaintances. with them he is remarkably agreeable."
and make it still better, and say nothing of the bad-belongs to you alone. and so you like this man's
"my dear lizzy,
could about such a nasty little freckled thing?"
be all her attentions, vain and useless her affection for his sister and her praise of himself, if he were

* The Beatles


Anonymous Messalina said...

Blimey! Jane Austen on acid.

11:35 am  
Blogger Reidski said...

Is it Jane Austen, then? If so, why has someone sent it to me? I'm feeling rather concerned that there is some sort of coded message in their! In fact, I'm dead scared!

12:03 pm  
Anonymous marc said...

Might as well get creative with it as someone did on Laura Hird's lit site. Took all that mad spam mail & turned it into poetry pieces....


2:16 pm  
Blogger Reidski said...

Marc - thanks for the link. I particularly like the one titled They.

2:40 pm  
Blogger J.J said...

I keep telling you to read 'Pride and Prejudice' - best book ever,but the title of your spam completely defeats me.

8:31 pm  
Blogger Reidski said...

JJ - I shall read it, but you don't have to send me weird e-mails to encourage me!

8:35 am  

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