The Oil Song *

Well, we didn't really think it was just affecting some British lorry drivers, did we?

* Steve Forbert

Saturday Night *

I went to this last night. It was stupid, puerile, crass, post-modern rubbish ... I had a great time. Well, I had a great time when Arse Full of Chips were on stage (as well as when they were running round the audience spraying after shave, fake snow and water at everyone) and when Kunt and the Gang was on doing his rather unique set. As for the other two bands, well, come on lads, hardcore thrash punk was rather tieresome back in 1981 never mind 2008. Back to the fun ... Arse Full of Chips put me in mind of Goldie Looking Chain without the decent music and the Welsh accents. And while the Welsh "rappers" did have their own uniforms, being the bling and stuff, Arse Full of Chips went in for a rather different uniform of the likes of animal costumes and Captain Fantastic outfits. Songs were about how racist Jade Goody is, buying dodgy kebabs and the suggestion that you really shouldn't eat the leftovers the next morning and how shit their home town of Matlock is.

Basildon's Kunt and the Gang, described by Bizarre magazine as a "one-man filth machine", is, err, a one-man filth machine. In town to promote his One Last Wank and One Last Cry CD, his songs are, on the whole, about ... can you guess? ... wanking. Cuntsticks, a rather alternative version of Chas and Dave's Gertcha, was among the highlights for me. He really is the ultimate purveyor of post-modern nonsense. As I say, I loved it! Of course, in six months, I'll hate it cos it really is musical comedy which has a very short life span. But I'll enjoy it while I can.

* Blue Nile

You'll Never Walk Alone

No comment!

The Sound of Silence *

I am saying fuck all!

*Simon & Garfunkel

Wow *

The Sun amazes us with its super soaraway predictions yet again!

*Kate Bush

Music Was My First Love*

From Andrew Brown, a tag thingy! So ...

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.

Venus by Television. The layers upon layers of guitar on this song are simply stunning. Got the Marquee Moon CD recently from Amazon, along with first two Talking Heads and Magazine's live Play, which still hasn't arrived about six weeks after being ordered.

No I In Threesome by Interpol. Fabby fabby song. Went to see them with JJ last year and thought they were totally brilliant live.

All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem. Pounding rhythms. Sometimes on when I'm running in the gym - no better track to exercise to.

Hey Lucifer by British Sea Power. A damn fine band who I would love to see live. This one has a great football-style chant to it.

Cracking Up by Nick Lowe. Downloaded this onto my MP3 player recently. An oldie, but a goodie.

Blacklisted by Neko Case. Another one I downloaded recently. Never came across her before seeing mention at Counago and Spaves. Beautiful voice, lovely music.

Magnificent Five by Adam and the Ants. From the Kings of the Wild Frontier album - still a classic in my opinion!

There, Andrew, done it. As for another seven people to do it ... come on JJ, tnr, Darren, John, Martin, Lisa and The Fatalist, get writing.

* John Miles

Scots Wha Hae*

I'm finding the row over Scottish Labour Party leader Wendy Alexander's call for an early referendum on Scottish independence to be rather bizarre. That Gordon Brown, at Prime Minister's Question Time, failed to back her comments, says volumes about just how split they are.

I think Alexander's tactics to be very astute. Why wait another two or three years for a referendum? Well, if you are in favour of winning the referendum, then another couple of years in the union won't be such a big hardship, surely? This would give the SNP time to show how responsible they are in government. It would also, of course, give time for a Tory government to be elected in London and thereby causing more grief for Scotland, being, as it is, traditionally difficult in recent decades for the Conservatives to get a stronghold in the country. More resentment toward the union will obviously surface should this happen.

Alexander, on the hand, can see that, the earlier that a referendum takes place, the better chance of a No vote for independence. So what's the problem with her Labour colleagues?

All I can read into things is that Gordon Brown is a control-freak and that the split has occurred as a result of Alexander showing some autonomy. How dare that northern upstart try to develop a policy which does not follow London's lead, eh? It is also all about Brown's - and Blair's before him - obsession with panels, commisisons, inquiries, etc. This one, the Calman Commission, which is supported by Labour, Tories and Lib-Dems, will no doubt come up with a conclusion which does nothing to clear the matter up but which merely confuses the matter further or, at best, supports the establishment of an English Parliament (and how can any person with more than two brain cells oppose such a thing?).

Alexander is a Unionist. Brown is a Unionist. It surely should have taken anyone, just anyone, with a modicum of bravado, to have said to Brown: "Gordo, she's onto a winner here. We should break with that Calman Commission pish and back an early referendum. The longer we wait, the bigger the danger to our beloved Butcher's Apron.!" Of course, such is Brown's control-freakery, the respons would have been: "You're sacked!" But at least the point should have been made. And are those cunts in the Cabinet, or all those hordes of ministers and junion ministers so shit scared of Brown that they feel they cannot give him advice? What a weird thing democracy is!

For what it's worth, I would like to see an independent Scotland - not as part of some shitty fucking monarchic set-up, like that right-wing tosser Salmond has been proposing. And why do I think this? Well, it's different. It would be a laugh. The bottom line is, it can hardly be any worse than we have at the moment, can it? But I suppose it has fuck all to do with me as I haven't lived in Jockland for nearly 20 years.

* Robert Burns

Questions & Answers *

Darren told me to do this, so I will:

1. What was the last 1980s song you heard?

Thompson Twins with (I think) Love In Your Heart. It was playing in the gym as I was getting dressed this afternoon.

2. What was the last thing you saw on You Tube?

Arthur Scargill - and please let me explain. Someone at work was astonished at the musical content at You Tube. He then bizarrely asked if you can "get things like Arthur Scargill speeches on it?" I proved the point.

3. What was the last entry on wikipedia you viewed?

Bloke by the name of JH Thomas who was a right-wing General Secretary of the National Union of Railwaymen in the 1920s who then went on to become a member of Ramsay Macdonald's national government, so you can imagine what a shitbag he was!

4. Last computer /video game completed?

Don't do them.

5. What did you last Pig Out on?

Don't really do "Pig Outs", but, as there was food left in the dishes last night when I went out with the ex and the boy to the rather brilliant Nouvelle Spice on New Cross Road, then I'll plump for that. So we had chicken rogan, lamb shislack, some other chicken dish, rice, nan, onion bhajis and poppadums and dips.

6. What is the last undeleted text message on your mobile?

"Oh dear! Poor Reidski! Have you seen some you think you like any where?" Txt from JJ after I sent her one when I was out on an unsuccessful shopping expedition.

7. When did you last have a conversation with someone other than a family member?

It's more unusual for me to have a conversation with someone in my family, but, anyway, I think it was probably just before I left work on Friday when I was bemoaning the political landscape that we are about to enter.

8. Aside from where you live, what is the last village/town/city you visited?

Northampton on Friday night - wonderful night, only spoiled by a nightmare journey home during which I thought I was going to have to sleep on the streets of Watford.

9. What was the last Competiton you won?

Won King of Leon CD Because of the Times in a Radio 6 competition. Or maybe it was the two 5 litre kegs of Heineken I won in a thisislondon.com competition! Can remember!

10. What were the last 3 Blogs you visited?

JJ, TNR and, as I still retain hope that it will return, Dodgy Boozers.

Not passing this on to anyone as I don't want to incur the wrath of the likes of that bloke over at The Fatalist who was enraged that JJ had the audacity to do so.

* Biffy Clyro

Getting Better *

Since April 16th I've been saying it - Celtic can and will win the league title. That night we had just beaten the huns with a last-minute effort. We've beaten them again since. Yesterday was a struggle against Motherwell and, really, we were lucky to get the three points. But, hey, football is all about scoring more than your opponents and that is what Celtic did. Today, Rangers looked ropey. Ok, Hibs didn't do enough to pressure the defence, but Novo was far from his best and Cousin was anonymous.

I'm convinced we will win it!

*The Beatles

Computer World *

Thanks to Darren, I found out that yesterday was World Shutdown Day, as thought up by a bunch of middle-class do-gooder computer geeks. We use computers too much, too much social networking and not enough socialising, they say. Their plan was to go out and clean up parks and stuff instead of starting up their computers. Did we all follow suit, then? Did we fuck! We took this guy's advice and had a World Don't Tell Me What To Do Day instead.

*Kraftwerk

Twat *

The world is mad!

* John Cooper Clarke